it's official.

something about friday clinical made me realize that nursing school will all be worth it.  the stress and embarrassment, the asking of stupid questions, the doing of stupid mistakes, and the feeling of uselessness and incompetence - will all be worth it in the end.

on friday, i watched the miracle of birth {twice!} happen right before my eyes.  i also performed a newborn assessment.  {two, actually!} and i was helpful.  so helpful!  i opened my eyes and saw things that could be done and by gosh, i did them.  i gave newborn meds and i watched a mother cry with joy as we put that baby in her arms - that baby that she had sacrificed everything she has and more to bring into this world. and felt like i could, someday, belong in the labor and delivery unit of a hospital. {finally!  i know where i belong.}

it wasn't until friday that i realized, i have been waiting for two years. {two full years!} to feel like i had chosen the right profession. i knew i loved people, i knew i loved medicine. but did i really like being a nurse? i was all but certain. i would go to clinical and be okay with the unit i was in. but never did i fall in love with it.

well, friday, i fell in love with it.  i fell in love with the labor and delivery unit.  and the idea of holding a newborn every single day for the rest of my life.  that sounds about perfect, no?