our thankful tree.

not to brag, our life is so good right now.  

don't get me wrong, it is so SO hard, and we have lots of {unseen} challenges, just like everyone else.

but it's also incredibly good.  we are so blessed.

cora is right at this very moment crying in her crib, fighting a nap she so desperately needs.  (don't worry! i won't let her cry for long:) and i have anxiety about some things that just can't be fixed right now.  there's endless projects and to do's that need to be done, and i'm feeling inadequate and vulnerable and hopeful all at once.  but if i sit back and look at my life, it is easy to see how incredibly blessed we are. 

friday, i had this brilliant idea that we should start a thankful tree.  hazel is the perfect age for that right now, and i thought it would be a great way to teach her such an abstract concept.  i bought a stack of colored construction paper, and cut out the cutest bare tree for our wall.  hazel has been impressing us with her scissor-cutting skills and cutting several leaves each day for us to write on what we are thankful for.  the tree is filling up so fast, and i can't wait to show you what it looks like when we're done.  it's been an exercise in remembering our Savior, and our Heavenly Father from whom all our blessings come.  it's helped me recognize friends and loved ones who are such an influence of love and good in our lives and are such good examples to our girls.  truly, i am so grateful.

and here's some things these girls love right now....

cora

brown bear, brown bear what do you see

pointing and saying "this" (ie. this way) to tell me where to go

petting the neighbor's cat {i actually don't know who that cat belongs too, and i'm just hoping it's been vaccinated ;}

coming with me to get the mail

putting little objects in holes - she frequently finds sticks to put in the wire at the playground

bubbles

yogurt {obsessed}

dragging her bunny around on a blanket

saying "up" as we climb each stair

chasing birds on the beach {hazel loves this too!}

the tram at disneyland is hilariously maybe her favorite "ride" that we go on there.  i think peter pan is also beloved

hazel

loving smile, her after-school program with some cute friends

puzzles

playing games

reading - she is turning into such a bookworm and can sound out lots of words already

ham {LOVES it, and asks to have it in her lunch every day.  i usually send her with a homemade "lunchable" complete with ham, cheese, and crackers;}

talking about holidays, and getting very excited to go to mimi's for thanksgiving!

disneyland

listening to music in the car - from princess songs to my old school playlists and everything in-between

talking about "our schedule" and looking at what is coming up that day and week

nesting.

i've been feeling really great lately.  yes, i am still pregnant, and yes, being pregnant isn't one bit glamorous at all.  but i know that i am in the best part of it, and may not be for much longer.  so, put a diet coke in me and watch me work, because i have been cleaning and nesting like nobody's business over here.

when you're nesting, you notice every little bit of cleaning that needs to get done, even if most other humans can't see it.  today, i wiped down all of our kitchen cabinets, sanitized every surface in the house, and dusted... everywhere.  i also cleaned the bathrooms, which i do often anyway.  but there are nooks and crannies that i never knew existed until now, and they must all be immaculate.

i am acutely aware that i am crazy.  nevertheless, i will probably clean like this every single day until i am too large to stand up.  ;)

motherhood is...

motherhood is sleepless nights.
motherhood is making food or cleaning it up, pretty constantly.
motherhood is praying for the energy to keep up with a budding toddler.
motherhood is being a nurse, a psychiatrist, a teacher, and a maid all in one.
motherhood is a thorough exercise routine.
motherhood is a full-time job.

but motherhood is also....
snuggles in the middle of the night.
the privilege of loving and caring.
fun, and spontaneous, amazing, and infinitely worthwhile.
feeling close to a perfect little someone in a way that only a mother can understand.
and so, so rewarding.


what is motherhood, to you?

some things!

oh heyyy there blog.  it's been awhile.  are we still friends?

it's the holiday season, and that means i have been so busy that i don't even know what to do with myself.  {i haven't even gotten much for hazel yet!  mostly because i am waiting to find the perfect few gifts to give her....} and i'm making hazel a quiet book which has to be done by the 19th so i can let her open it on christmas day, and i need a sewing machine to complete it and i have probably spent over 30 hours on this dang quiet book so far.  but anyways, it is 2am and i'm working a full shift and i figure hey - i should document what's been going on in our lives lately.

-  we have gotten gobs {is gobs a word?} of snow over the past few days, and as i was shoveling our driveway one morning before hazel and i ran out to get some christmas shopping done {in high-heeled boots no less} one student walking home literally begged me to let him shovel my walk.  i didn't succumb to his wishes and i'm not sure why.  pride?  determination?  feminism?  {winky-face}

-  hazel has started walking with her walker and standing up for a minute at a time on her own.  rude.  also, she weighs 20lbs 8oz and is 29in long!  aaaaaand her legs really hurt, especially the left from the pneumococcal vaccine.  it's the worst!

-  john saying to me last night:  "when i close my eyes, i see call of duty.  it's awesome."

-  i loved witnessing the other day:  a man trying to push his car through an intersection when it went dead, and seeing three young student jump out of their separate cars to help him.  there is good in the world, i tell you.

and what would a meaningless blog post be without a pic of hazel therese?

"here hazel, you play right here with these christmas lights so i can get something done."

that time i went from ordering medium-well, to medium.

to celebrate john's completion of his internship, we decided to go out for a nice dinner.  and i'm talking nice.  like, so nice i felt out of place.  we haven't been to a restaurant that nice since.... i don't even know.  but we'd heard lots of good things about it, and it came highly recommended from so many people.  so we decided to give it a shot.

and oh.my.f a n c y!  sometimes you forget when you're living off home-cooked meals and $15 date-nights that such places exist.  but they do, and they are fun to go to once and awhile.  

john ordered the braised rabbit, i ordered the duck n' beef burger, medium-well.

i regretted it once i said it.  medium-well, you idiot! they will over cook it and it will be dry!

and it was.

when i mentioned this to john, he encouraged me to send it back, which i inevitably did.  and then, after they brought me back a perfectly medium burger, {i should have known!  from now on i will always order medium, i've made up my mind.}, and i finished it to my heart's content, and my stomach overflowed with delicious duck meat.... they brought us three desserts to compensate.  you heard me.  three desserts.  < insert embarrassed emoticon >

oh man.  those desserts.  that were soooo good.  and i was soooo embarrassed.  but nothing could top my surprise when we got in the car and john said, 

"well, i didn't want to say it in the restaurant but i had read on yelp that if you send your food back they bring you their entire dessert menu."

no wonder he encouraged me to send my food back!  he's a smart man, and i love him.

well, there's no great way to end this story so i guess.... may the force be with you.

"i've humbled you, and i've lectured you and you have borne it as noone could have born it. maybe it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another."

via

as i was watching this scene yesterday, it struck me at how true this quote is of marriage.  i speak specifically of how two people can help each other strive to be better.  as mr. knightly suggests: john and i, imperfect as we are as individuals, are more perfect together.  john helps me each day to be a more patient and kind person.  truly, "i feel so full of error, so mistaken in my make-up to deserve [him]".  but he, in his patient, loving way, encourages me each day to be a better person.

i can't even count the number of times that i have been frustrated with the beebes and he lovingly reminds me to not let her fussiness/refusal to nap/teething crankiness affect my mood.  if i'm in a humble mood then i take his advice and make a serious commitment to be better.  the trick is humility.  and it is sometimes so so hard to be humble, isn't it?

last night, we had a long conversation.  and i thanked and thanked john for all that he teaches me and that he doesn't give up on me, despite my resilience.  and he thanked me for the things i do to help him strengthen his weaknesses as well.  i went to bed feeling quite whole with him beside me and a sleeping baby in her crib on the other.

john, thanks for making our life together so magical.

when we became a two-nap family.

big news around here....

hazel has switched from an indeterminate number of naps each day.... to two naps per day!

for months i had been doing everything in my power to get her to take a nap longer than forty minutes.  white noise, darkening her room, cio, stroller naps, car seat naps, putting her down earlier, putting her down later, nursing her to sleep, not nursing her to sleep.... i seriously tried everything.  it was a wonderful day when she would even take three-ish naps a day, and one of them even lasted for an hour and a half!  sometimes.

and then, last monday, hazel made up her mind that she was going to take two naps a day, and that they were going to last longer than forty minutes.  and it was glorious.  she is a lot happier now that she gets the rest she needs.

also worth noting:

at church today a lady and i started talking.  she suggested that her daughter {age one and a half} would love to play with my daughter, whom i was holding.

her:  how old is she?

me:  5 months.

her:  wow she's big!

me:  yes.  maybe she wouldn't be the best playmate for your daughter.... (since your daughter can walk and talk and all mine does is hang out in the jenny jump-up and watch baby einsteins...)

to the graduated nurse me.

dear graduated nurse paige,

remember how hard it was to follow nurses around when you were in school?  you knew each day that you were slowing them down, driving them crazy with your questions, and making a fool of yourself.  no matter how much you knew, and how smart you appeared, you still had questions, insecurities, and hoped and prayed that you would successfully start the next IV.

please don't forget me!  please don't forget nursing student paige, who missed all three IVs during her ER day.  don't forget nursing-student paige, who stressed over tests, and assignments, and prayed every day that she would make it through nursing school in one piece.  don't forget how she stressed all throughout nursing school about passing that dreaded NCLEX.  don't forget her resolve to be a wonderful nurse.  don't forget her hopes that she would one day be calm, and competent, and a stellar preceptor for nursing students to follow; that she would teach well, and give opportunities to learn, and not care if a nursing student was slowing her down.

and please don't think that just because you made it through the so far greatest challenge of your life, that nursing is the most fulfilling thing you will ever do.  because, it isn't.

"no career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family."
m. russel ballard

pretty sure i'm over it and ready for spring, but you have to admit - it is quite lovely.

the best laugh i've had in a long while.

apparently, my husband is a hot item.  

{i already knew this of course, but it seems that the other twitterpated single girls of the byu population have discovered it too.  too late for them though, muahahaha.}

what i mean by this is, your husband has to be pretty freakin attractive to have two girls, on separate occasions, jump out of the passenger seat of a car, 

and dance like a hoochy-mamma in front of your husband's car at a red light.

{i'm talking booty-shakin, lip-lickin, drop-it-pop-it-lock-it dancing.  suggestive stuff for byu.}
as john relayed the story to me, i couldn't help but laugh.  and laugh hard.
that sounds like something i may or may not have done my freshman year.  

and although he doesn't like the attention, i managed to sneak a picture.

i totally don't blame those freshman girls.  who wouldn't want a piece of that?  

last night:

drove through a raging snowstorm, {thank you, utah.}
got cheesesteaks with john and the in-laws.
ice cream for me and john on the way home.
have you noticed that my life pretty much revolves around food?