after my third consecutive nursing school meltdown in what seems like a mere week - and after crying as john held me in his arms - it finally hit me. nursing school is hard. not just i-am-stretched-to-my-limits hard. like, i-am-stretched-beyond-what-i-think-i-can-handle hard. actually, a bachelor's degree in nursing has the guinness world record for being the hardest major you can earn. {really!} and as i contemplated this. i thought of quitting. oh, how many times i have desperately wanted to throw in the towel and start making babies instead. {i hear being a mother is hard too - maybe i'd just be trading one hard thing for an equally difficult thing, with a much longer [18+ years] time commitment.... maybe not a good idea?} but i haven't. i have persevered beyond what i think is possible. and sometimes, i even let my grades slip just a little - just to preserve my sanity.
but i am dry-eyed now, and thinking a lot clearer. and i've come to a conclusion that may shock and surprise you. {considering all the complaining i just did.} i am blessed. so very, very blessed. i know that everyone else in this world deals with hard things, and my things are nothing compared to some people's things. some people don't have food on their table each night, a wonderful family, and the gospel in their lives. but I DO. i have all those things. plus the opportunity to go to school and learn, and talents that i take for granted, and a husband that i oh so dearly love. i know that i didn't do anything to earn these wonderful blessings, but yet i have them. and if i - imperfect and silly and near-sighted as i am - have the opportunity to go to school, learn all i can, and then let the Lord guide me to what He wants me to do.... then by golly, i am going to do it. i am going to be a nurse, so that i can use what i learn to bless the lives of others. i've finally come to the realization that it's not for me. and somehow, that almost makes this hard major seem a whole lot easier.
