to be perfectly brunt

i had a tremendous meltdown yesterday. i think the combination of sleep deprivation, not enough chocolate in the house, recovering from a cold and a uti, and a toddler who is constantly testing the limits- was just too much for me. and i may have even sent a pathetic text to john in my weak state. 

I also called my mom and pretended I was okay, even though i wasn't. 

and then, a tender mercy came in the form of my sister's email. she said a lot of things that i needed to hear, but one thing in particular i thought i would share: i think i need to tell you just how grateful i am for you and your example.  you are wonderful and i know that God is so so grateful for you raising two beautiful daughters.

and there it was. a confirmation that my sacrifice meant more than sleepless nights and tantrums. 

and then cora gave me a five-hour stretch last night. i feel like a new woman.