taking stock.

writing this, made me think of this.  which, come to think of it, is exactly how i feel right now.

wishing:  my baby didn't have to go through teething.
drinking:  coke zero with vanilla all. day. long.
making:  thousands of headbands for my bald baby.
looking:  for my halloween decorations. {where did they go?!?}
reading:  catch 22 every night shift.
wanting:  a watercolor painting set.
playing:  with my giggly baby every chance i get.
waiting:  for a half shift at work that doesn't end at 2am.
hoping:  that i am the kind of wife/mother/daughter/caregiver that heavenly father wants me to be.
making:  headway on my multiple ongoing, endless cleaning and crafting projects
following:  literally fifteen shows on tv.
wondering:  when i'll learn to be more patient.
needing:  a new hairstyle.
smelling:  a delightful "harvest pumpkin" candle.
liking:  the crisp air outside.
noticing:  john's quiet contentment with life.
wearing:  my skinny jeans once again.  {thank you, breastfeeding.}
thinking:  that i might need to get off the computer and go fold some laundry.

thanks for the idea, sydney.


things i love:

when hazel puts her hand on my cheek while i'm nursing her.
neck beards.
drinking green smoothies on the porch.
listening to the rain on the roof.
slouchy sweaters.
my dirty coke zero from the drive through.
the feeling i get when football season starts.


tremendously grateful.

for months now i have been having anxiety about letting my nursing license waste away.  i was worried that if i didn't get a teeny tiny job then i would be unhire-able in ten years when my kids were all in school and i decided that i wanted to work.  so i put some feelers out last week and some old classmates helped me score a job where they work.  and i am so so grateful.  i am rusty for sure, but i'm hoping {and praying} that things will fall into place soon.  the best part?  it's on-call and only a six-to-midnight shift usually, so i won't be gone during the day when hazel needs me.  

i am so grateful for friends that lend a helping hand, and for my Heavenly Father who is always watching over me and gives answers my prayers.


we're fans.

rise and shout!  
the cougars are out.


her little personality.

i always knew our children would be stubborn.  just based on john's childhood stories, (like the one time his dad was holding his hand and john yanked his arm back in protest so hard that he dislocated his own shoulder!)  plus my own memory of my own head-strong nature as a child, (and let's be honest, john and i have not grown out of our stubbornness in adulthood anyway....) i thought there was no chance that we wouldn't get at least one child who knew his or her own mind. and boy, we did.

i have really enjoyed getting to know our little hazelnut's personality as she has increasingly shown it.  even though i spent 9 months growing her, i had no idea what she would be like until she came. and then, once she was here, i still felt like i didn't really know much about her - except that she was the sweetest little human i had ever held, and that i would love her forever.  but as she gets older, i have learned more and more about the lovely spirit that she is.  she is happy, loving, cuddly, patient (she gets that from her father), friendly (smiles/giggles at strangers), easy-going, darling (am i right?!) and definitely knows what she wants.  she is delightfully willful.  and i can't really be surprised.  (john and i have headstrong DNA i suppose....) 

hazel never hesitates to let me know what she doesn't want.  she has such an easy-going nature, but when something isn't right, she doesn't wait to tell you, in her own little way.  this stubbornness really came to light when we tried feeding her solid foods.  to be fair, some babies don't like solid foods at first.  and it was apparent that she definitely didn't.  but we persisted for a total of 3 days, and she resisted until the below video was filmed and i realized that my darling headstrong girl wasn't ready.  so we put a pin in it.  because really, there's no hurry (i really only started her because i wanted to be able to leave her with a babysitter at some point in the future... but alas!).

hazel therese, you are a delight!  can't wait to uncover more of your personality over the years.  it's a privilege to be your mother.


someday home.

i dream of smooth, white walls.
i dream of peach trees and raspberry bushes in the backyard.
i dream of cozy homemade quilts and a good book by the fire.
i dream of hot chocolate, snuggles, and sleeping in.
i dream of falling asleep to the clash of waves.
i dream of bare feet on endless hardwood floors.
i dream of card games into the late hours of the night.
i dream of dancing to old records.
i dream of someday home.


happy sunday!

1.  17 lbs 10 oz 84%, 27in 92%
2.  my last picture of atlanta
3.  polka dots and the pool
4.  sneaky singing-time pic
5.  the atlanta temple
6.  hazel's jawa bath towel.  john says, "hoooteeenie!" the entire time she's wearing it!
7.  no caption necessary.
8.  frisbee golfing in roswell, one last time.
9.  a happy sight
10. another happy sight