i basically feel like hazel is an extension of me.  when i'm not with her, {when she's napping or the rare occasion that i work}, i feel like part of me is missing.  i feel not quite complete.  of course it's nice to catch a break to get things done while she's napping, nevertheless, i really really miss her.

i've been thinking about this a lot lately.  how as i go about my day, hazel is just an extension of my own body.  not as close to me or compact as she once was, but still very much nearby and connected.  when i go to the store, i put her in the cart.  taking care of her intermediately while i shop doesn't feel like i'm taking care of her at all.  it feels more like i am just doing what needs to be done and what i did before she came.  which i know, is simply not true.  because before i had her, i didn't have a her to take care of.  but still, i feel like my life has changed in so many thousands of ways and yet... i have stayed exactly the same.  motherhood isn't a burden, it's like a logical transition.  at the time hazel was born it didn't feel smooth.  but now, i feel like each day i become more used to having this tiny human with me and depending on me for everything.  without her, i would be nothing.

1 comment:

Mady said...

Completely adore this :)