what pregnancy is like, if we're really being honest:

week 2-6: this is going to be amazing!
6-7: i think I'm sick
7-9: i'm REALLY sick
9-13: i want to die
13-18: i might live again
20: i can't breathe
26: i feel fat
32: i am fat
35: i can't sleep
37: get this baby out of me!
40: pure joy

the weekend! the weekend!

well, the weekend is over.  i am so sad each sunday night when i realize that the next day john has to go to work, and i have to devise ways to 1) entertain hazel without spending all our money, and 2) do things like clean the house and shop for auto insurance.

it is especially hard for me to go back to real life when we have had such an amazing weekend.  friday night, the maloufs invited us and the hursts to their lake for a bonfire.  we roasted hot dogs, made s'mores, and dutch oven cobbler.  {mmmmmm. cobbler.}  there was even some can opening with scissors, which got very exciting.  hazel and henry devoured all the cheetos, and you can see the residue on hazel's face!

saturday we did some things.  cleaning is always on the list, since i can't seem to keep up with a 2-bedroom apartment pregnant as well as i could keep up with a 1-bedroom apartment not-pregnant.  we went on a walk to feed the ugly ducks, we had a papa murphy's pizza and watched a redbox {live die repeat - which i recommend}.  the weather here is so amazing these days.  it is making the blistering summer start to feel worth it.   

sunday we went to church, worked on our callings, and did family things.  we have added hazel to our family prayers each night, and i just love the way she folds her arms when we pray.  she is feisty so much during the day that sometimes i forget how sweet she can be.  xo

i haven't been a good wife lately.

i haven't been a good wife lately. it hit me, today during sunday school, that i am so tired, and so busy, that i rarely leave a piece of myself available for john at the end of the day. and this, is why i am so lucky and blessed in my choice of spouse. because john, despite all my shortcomings during pregnancy and raising and nurturing a toddler, has not only been forgiving, and patient, and kind, but he has also picked up the slack. while i am more cranky and short-fused, john is collected and loving. and boy, do you need someone like that when you are struggling with the physical, emotional, and psychological burdens of pregnancy. i feel especially tired this time, and i'm sure it has something to do with raising a busy toddler as well as growing a baby- and so i am so grateful to him for giving his all so that i can rest. to be honest, i am terrified of things to come. excited, but utterly petrified at having a newborn + sweet lovable hazel to take care of. hazel who, by the way, has also been extremely flexible in ways that help me keep my sanity! but for good or bad, our family is on this road together, a road that leads to eternal happiness if we play our cards right and endure to the end. and i am so grateful for that. 

halloween.

if you're like me, then you decided not to do a costume this year.  then, you decided the day before halloween that you didn't want to be lame and at least should spend a couple hours and make your daughter a costume.  and then, you decide because you are making her a costume that it won't be too much trouble to also make a costume for yourself, and before you know it, your husband feels very left out on halloween night.  and you end up spending some time figuring out what he's going to be, and getting him a costume put together, and eating dinner, and before you know it, all the good light is gone and you have to use flash for the only halloween pictures you will have for this year.  and you miss most of the carnival and only make it to the outdoor movie. sigh.  halloween this year was kind of a bust, but at least hazel looked cute.  and at least she's too young to really know any better :)  better costume years can be seen here and here.

also, hazel's costume went with both john's and mine, so that's kind of like having a family costume, right?

the joy of tomorrow comes after the work of today.

hazel is my adorable, sometimes unwilling companion throughout the day... and i love it.  as i'm breezing through target today, she starts making this funny sound frantically and trying to get my attention.  i ask her what it is she needs, but she just keeps making this funny noise and gesturing towards the shelf.  finally, i get it.  she is saying "whooooo! whoooo!" to let me know there is a teeny tiny owl on top of that candle.  each day i am struck by all that she is soaking in, even though she isn't much of a talker still.  {she inherited her dad's quiet nature, rather than my boisterous one...}  she is so much fun all the time and i am really loving this motherhood thing these days.  

don't get me wrong, there are things that totally stink.  like fighting each mealtime to get her to eat what i've put in front of her {our nutrition has lapsed a little bit since i hate putting up a fight}.  but she is so hilarious and happy and loves to explore the world around her.  right now she is bounding a little ball on the coffee table.  so easily entertained.  

i hope every day to be a little bit of a better mother to her.  that is one thing that stinks about motherhood.  you never feel good enough, you never feel like you are doing things right.  but when i look at my little girl, my heart just bursts.  so i pray every night that even though i'm not sure what in the heck i am doing, that the things i am doing will be enough.

life lately.

life has been so great to us lately.  these pictures were taken over the past few months, and they are a few of my favorites.  hazel is her beautiful stubborn self.  she refuses to do anything she doesn't want to, she knows what she wants, but she refuses to talk and communicate her desires.  it makes for a hilarious daily struggle, but john and i look at her at least ten times a day and think, i want this time to last forever. 

the texas state fair.

i am newly obsessed with the freddy's corny dog from the texas state fair.  since having one a few weeks ago, it has taken tremendous willpower not to drive downtown, pay $10 for parking, $8 for the entrance fee and $4 for another corndog.  that's a $22 corn dog, if you think about it so, i resisted.  maybe i can figure out how to make one at home that is equally as good because those darn pregnancy cravings really never go away.... and even hazel gave the corny dog the stamp of approval!

here we are at the fair, with our best friends, phil, briana, and henry.  i just love them!

another highlight was the petting zoo.  hazel is just obsessed with animals.  and she knows all the names.  also, she learned what an ostrich was when we went to the ostrich races.  did you know you have to weigh less than 130 pounds to ride an ostrich?  that counts me out!

we didn't have time for the ferris wheel, which was sad.  but we enjoyed avocado fries, rainbow pops, fried siracha balls, fried pumpkin pie, and lots of other goodies!  can't wait to go back next year!